


Virtually Friends

by TrashyFool



Series: Virtually Friends [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Legend of Zelda References, Mario Kart, Minecraft, Movie Night, Star Wars References, Texting, The Lord of the Rings References, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 22:27:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30112977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashyFool/pseuds/TrashyFool
Summary: A florida guy tries to text his friend for the first time and texts some random texas girl.'Controlled' chaos ensues.I make bad descriptions.Sorry if this is offensive.
Series: Virtually Friends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2215932





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live in texas; don't kill me

**james is this you**

**wake up or murder tnt on your dog army**

**.. fuck**

**you're not james**

_uh no_

_i know a james tho_

**we all know a james**

_james' ain't special_

**preach!!**

**...ok but who are you**

_.someone_

**someone that lives in texas**

_how_

**area codes, 'ain't', take your pick**

_mOm SoMeOnE's TrYiNg tO kIdNaP mEeE_

**oh no we've been found**

**carl get the white van to safety**

_lmao_

_what has our life come to that we just text random ppl_ _that aren't even from craigslist lol_

***have and *lives**

_prick_

**you know it bb**

_let me text everyone in different areas w my number to_ _find james for literallu no reason_

***literally**

_fuck u_

**and pls don't find him that would be bad**

_fuck u but fine . just bc i'm lazy_

_._

_now fuck u again_

**but i'm hot ;'(**

_shit, then fuck me_

**are you hot**

_no_

**then no**

_dang_

_why did you need to find james anyway_

_is he your boyfriend_

**oh we've been madly and gayly in love since i was 14 and he was 35**

**(i definitely meant 14 ;))**

_✨congrats but✨sarcastic_

**i'm 22 now, thanks for ASKING**

_^; i didn't_

**your personality puts the :// in http://**

_thanks_

_i'm finding james now_

**idc me too**

_wait you're from florida_

_(area codes)_

**no**

**but my phone is there**

_so yes_

_well, gay florida man, i'm a better person than you_

**oh yeah redneck texas man?? fite me**

_ง'̀-'́)ง)_

**(ง'̀-'́)ง**

_ง'̀-'́)ง)_

**(ง'̀-'́)ง**

_ง'̀-'́)ง)_

**so about fucking you, texas man**

_smh_

_i thought we were gonna throw hands and you're doin this bull right now_

***cries in homosexual***

_*laughs in i am no man*_

**nerd**

**wait what--**

_no fucking ME, you gender assumer_

_i am the nerd EMPRESS_

_TREMBLE BEFORE ME, GAY FLORIDA MAN_

***cries in i'm not a homosexual i'm ace don't kill me ms nerd lord ma'am***

**you left me on read**

**you didn't read that one**

**fuck**

**i heard about you dang texans but i didn't know they would go this far** ****

**I DON'T WANNA DIEEEREEEE**

**OWO DON'T HURT ME MOMMY**

_fucking james_

_asked every single one of them and the one in fuckin oklahoma said they knew a florida man_

_ughhh_

_but it gets worse_

_you're the florida man_

**good to know**

_fuck off_

_i am a muppet nerdlord and my life is plastic origami that was. slobberwd on by the imaginary tongue of my pet_ _chicken_

* * *

**james is it you**

_**yes** _

**oh**

**well get your ass to minecraft and don't destroy the farm**

_**no promises xD** _

**_why does a texan know you_ **

**_why does it say you're gay_ **

**OMG JAMES SHE HAS A CHICKENOMGGGG**

**I WANT TO ASK IF I CAN PET IT BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE**

**_yeah, get consent before you touch a cock_ **

**sToP ruining this for me**

**_you could just ask me though_ **

**_why did you leave me for a different texan cock_ **

**why did i have to fuck up your phone number**


	2. Chapter 2

_**so want to play minecraft again** _

**sure**

**_doscord?_ **

**discord***

_**we are no longer friends** _

_**go ask texas girl if you can touch her cock** _

**sTaHp**

**but ok**

**meet you at our first base from Disco(rd) Party**

* * *

**hi again texas girl**

**can i drive over and pet your chicken**

_no_

_go away, you_ _Florida Man High on Meth Jumps on Strangers' Cars, Surfs Them_

**why do you exist**

_tell that to florida man headline generator_

**WHY WOULD YOU LOOK FOR THAT**

_FUCK YOU_

**FUCK CHILLI**

_JOKES ON YOU I HATE CHILI_

_AND YOU SPELLED CHILI WRONG BITCH_

**WELL FUCK MHA**

_you come into my home_

_DISRESPECT MY ANIME_

**yes**

_good for you_

_and you will never touch my cock but the hens are like. you so go ahead and drive_

**i don't know where you live**

**we literally met last night and that was pure crack**

_sounds like a you problem_

**why can't i pet the rooster**

_touch and *cock*_

**it's a miracle you and james hate eachother**

**any less hatred and you would make my life unbearable**

_i thought it was already, with a face like that_

_btw youtube is my most used app_

**oh**

**mine is reddit**

**YOU'VE NEVER SEEN MU FACE**

_my*_

**i see why my sister blocked me now**

**and i lied about my age**

_twinkie bitch_

**stfu**

**i'm 21**

_obviously i am a middle schooler_

**that explains increased levels of dumb**

_oh honey have you noticed that florida man in the e mirror?? Well it's he the dumb one_

**you're proving my point**

_*cries in i hate florida man*_

***laughs in literally not evil***

_but jk_

_i'm 20_

**young for a bitch**

_at least i'm your bitch ,BABE_

**same to you, DEAR**

**HAHAHAHA jokes on you i bought a kea**

**much better than your scruffy screech tree birds**

_but what if i like the tsundere boys_

_hUH_

**and what if i like smart ppl**

**hUH**

_well fUcK yOu_

_CUTIE_

**HONEY**

_DEAR_

**SWEETHEART**

_MY ANGEL_

**CHER**

_BELOVED_

_wait you speak french_

_sssssshit_

**fuck yeahhh**

_don't think you've won..._

_Fucking incel_

_Florida Man Gets Married To A Ferris Wheel Named Bruce, After Failed Relationships With An Airplane And A Train_

**:'(**

* * *

_**oops** _

_**well uh** _

**what did you do to our Disco you fucking oklahoma**

_**so that's how it is >:/** _

**_'you fucking oklahoma_**

**don't change the subject oaklie**

**answer**

**the qUESTION**

_**i made a large nether portal and ghasts came through; wrecked; destroyed portal and killed ghasts with that bow you gave me** _

**fixable**

**what else**

_**damn you know me** _

_**i turned creative and spawned like 13 withers that also destroyed and were destroyed**_

**less fixable**

**continue**

_**i flooded the world, made a floating metal house, made an end portal in said house, and went to the end** _

**not fixable**

**moving on**

_**there's more** _

_**i killed the ender dragon twice, got pumpkin, went through smol portal, turned survival, 3rd person, and am living with endermen** _

_**and i destroyed smol portal** _

**um**

**impressive**

**let's go kill those creepers in gunpowder apocalypse and rename the one you ruined I Think I Was Drunk When the World ENDed**

_**i hate you** _

**mood**

**Author's Note:**

> Dont kill me pls i live in texas


End file.
